The page background pattern (also used in the background of the sidebar headers) is a modification of one created by Travis Beckham, of Squidfingers.com. Thanks to him for generously offering up his great collection of patterns.

The plan is to, in the not-too-distant future, implement sIFR to replace the somewhat clunky Arial Narrow headlines and nav bar with the gorgeous Myriad Pro Condensed. I also hope to have the Schedule page up and running very shortly.

That said, I don’t have any major content on the burners… so it might be a while before you hear from me again. Lucky for you, I have installed a plugin that will allow you to subscribe to my site and get an e-mail notification when I make new posts! (Alternately, if you’re into the RSS thing, you know what to do there.) Just fill in this little form to subscribe:

From time to time salesmen of jewellery and other items have been known to book passage aboard ship in an effort to sell their wares. Cunard Line in no way condones such activity. Should you be bothered in any way by such individuals, it would be most appreciated if you would bring their presence to the attention of the Purser’s Office. Thank you.

Nothing outright funny about this one; it just struck me as a little bizarre.

We remind all guests using the Kings Court buffet that wet bathing attire is not permitted and that a shirt and shoes are required whilst dining in the buffet area.

This reminds me of the sign we have in the Print Shop that parodies a sign that is placed near the entrance to the Britannia Restaurant: “Tonight’s dress code is White Trash Formal. Please wear your best NASCAR t-shirt and the jeans without rips in them.”

11:00 p.m.: Deck Buffet
Provided by the Queen Mary 2 Food & Beverage Team

Oh really? I thought the bedroom stewards and laundrymen were going to be providing the Deck Buffet…

QM2 does not deal in Costa Rican colons.

American or British colons only, please. (Ok, I suspect this will go over most people’s heads, so I’ll explain. The colon is the name of the Costa Rican currency.)

And thus ends the chronicling of my time on QM2 I’ll be departing bright and early tomorrow morning to return home to Kentucky. This site will continue to be used to track the end of my academic life and the beginning of my professional life as it happens. If that doesn’t interest you, thanks for reading thus far, and I’ll see you around If it does, see you back here in a little bit with a new look to the site and more.

As I’m leaving the ship, I’ve prepared a brand-spankin’-new design for ScottCranfill.com! I will attempt to put it up as soon as possible upon returning to land, but my laptop has started giving me grief, and that may delay the process. But I assure you, it will knock your socks off. Better than this design, even, in my humble opinion. And the icing on the cake is that I have the long-awaited Schedule module also nearly complete! It’s a little bit less complex than I originally intended, but it will do the job.

I’m going to post one more edition of “Amusing things we print” before signing off entirely, so watch for that in a few days.

Aloha!

I’m not going to link to any news reports—I’m sure they’re easy enough to find with a quick search of Queen Mary 2 on Google News—but I will summarize the events of the past week-plus:

After first offering to refund half of the cruise fare and getting completely lambasted by a number of passengers for several days in a row, including threats of a lawsuit (and I think one may have already been filed?), they acquiesced today and decided to reimburse everyone for their full cruise fare, plus their pre- and post-cruise transportation.

It was pretty sickening to watch some of these Q&A sessions that the Commodore had with the upset passengers. Nearly everyone who spoke out was either making ridiculous demands, threatening legal action, or flat-out accusing the Commodore of lying. For example, they said he had the power to give them free drinks for the rest of the cruise. Master of the Vessel or not, Commodore Warwick cannot authorize such a costly measure; he must talk to his superiors shoreside, but the passengers did not believe him. They were also distraught at not being told we’d be missing the ports before leaving Fort Lauderdale; they couldn’t seem to understand that we had to get out to sea and find out exactly how fast we could go with only three pods before we could decide which ports we could or could not make.

I understand that they were upset, and they had every right to be, but that does not justify the abusive behavior exhibited by some of the people at these meetings. The ship’s company, and the Commodore in particular, were doing everything they could to make the rest of the cruise as Legendary, Elegant, Memorable™ as possible, and some could do nothing but insult and threaten people who had no control over how much of a refund they were going to get.

Anyway, it’s over and done as of tomorrow, and we’re moving on in our trip around South America. In case you’re wondering, we can make all of our ports coming up, because the speed required between ports is not as great, particularly when we have to creep through the Chilean fjords anyway.

Original post:

The world’s largest cruise ship, Queen Mary 2, has returned to port in Florida because of fears it may have hit something, damaging its propellers.BBC News

You’d think, as a crew member, I could add a little more information to what the BBC has published there. But I can’t. They really haven’t told the crew anything. There’s been no official announcement to the crew, even. We just get bits and pieces of rumors here and there, and I’m not an official company spokesperson, so I’ll err on the side of caution and decline to pass on any of those rumors.

What I can tell you is that we’re stuck back in Fort Lauderdale until at least 1800 hours tonight, and there’s no way we’ll make our first two scheduled ports on this cruise (St. Kitts on the 19th and Barbados on the 20th).

Exciting times on Queen Mary 2!

Out of consideration for your fellow guests, ladies are requested to please refrain from sunbathing topless on the decks. 

Speaks for itself…

The planetarium films include high-speed sequences which are not considered suitable for guests suffering from epilepsy or nervous disposition. 

Now, I know that there’s nothing funny about epilepsy, but “nervous disposition”?

It is Company Policy [their capitalization] not to serve alcohol to persons under 18 years of age on board QM2. 

I know that the drinking age is lower in most countries than it is in the U.S., but picture all the 18-19-20-year-old Americans saying, “I can buy alcohol on this ship?!”

Please do not prevent elevator doors from closing with any part of your body. Please be patient, the elevator will return. 

That one just sounds… odd.

Children who are not toilet trained are not permitted to use the pools. 

Again, speaks for itself.

Just a little window into our wacky world. Hope you enjoyed it.